


Messages

by lilymcenvy



Category: Celtic Thunder (Band)
Genre: Anxiety, Drunk Texting, F/M, Panic Attacks, Texting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-27
Updated: 2016-04-27
Packaged: 2018-06-04 20:27:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,943
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6674374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilymcenvy/pseuds/lilymcenvy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A girl struggling with anxiety.<br/>A boy who's desperate to make his dreams come true.</p><p>Maybe it was fate that brought them together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It began innocently and out of the sudden.

One warm September night.  
One boy who had a little too much to drink.  
One unknown number.   
One message.

Didn't take long till they both realised they need each other.

 _"So maybe you're down in the gutter._  
_Or high in the clouds it don't matter."_


	2. Chapter 2

One heartbeat. Opening her eyes.  
Another heartbeat. Realising it's a new day. New start. New opportunities. New hope.  
Another heartbeat. She sits up on her bed.  
Quiet ticking on the wall says it's almost eight.  
Time to get out from the warmth under the duvet.   
As her feet touch the wooden floor, she smiles a little. Sun's already up. Central Park is drowning in golden light of a new day.  
She gets up and on her tiptoes she runs to the kitchen. Turns on the radio, puts the kettle on and then heads to the bathroom to take a quick shower.  
As the stream of hot water's hugging her whole body she can hear hushed tones of her favourite song from the kitchen.  
_"Now you say you're lonely._  
_You cried the whole night through._  
_Well, you can cry me a river, cry me a river._  
_I cried a river over you."_

When she steps out of the shower, she wraps herself in a towel and goes to her bed where, on one night stand, she finds her phone and heads back to the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee.   
Water still dripping from her wet hair as she sits down on a bar stool with a hot mug in front of her and phone in her hand.

 _2:38 a.m. [Unknown number]_  
_heeee y bud where u at ? i need u to pick me up asap!!! pleeeeease drunk S jel neeeed u_

She chuckles.  _"Poor guy. Hope he's got home alright,"_ goes quickly through her head as she puts the phone down and enjoys her coffee while listening to the radio - her morning ritual.

How could she even know what an avalanche's gonna follow. It was just an innocent message, right?! Drunk texting. Wrong number. That's it. Just something she can laugh about. Nothing more.   
Who would have thought?  
Understanding, sympathy, sincerity...

That's gonna come.  
But how could she even know.


	3. Chapter 3

_1:46 p.m. [Unknown number]_  
_Sorry. Sorry. I'm so sorry! And embarrassed. Yeah. Mainly embarrassed. I really hope I didn't wake you at THREE O'CLOCK IN THE MORMING. Oh my god. If I did, I'm just so so sorry. I swear I didn't mean it. Please, forgive me... Please. I'm really sorry. :(_

 _1:47 p.m. To: [Unknown number]_  
_You're so sweet. But no need to be sorry. You didn't wake me. Don't worry. All's good. I read it in the morning. Sorry I laughed at you (though you didn't see it). I really hope you got home alright. ;)_

 _1:48 p.m. [Unknown number]_  
_Oh, thank God. Totally okay you laughed at me. I'd laugh at myself too. And yes, I got home alright... Eventually. -_-_

 _1:49 p.m. To: [Unknown number]_  
_Eventually?_

 _1:50 p.m. [Unknown number]_  
_Yeah. I walked home. Like for almost an hour or so. Not surprisingly, my friend didn't pick me up 'cause I texted you instead of him (and realized too late)_

 _1:51 p.m. To: [Unknown number]_  
_I'm really sorry about that. Hope you got a good sleep, at least. ;)_

 _1:52 p.m. [Unknown number]_  
_I did. I just woke up, actually. Huh, totally miss the whole day of school._

 _1:53 p.m. To: [Unknown number]_  
_I'm slightly jealous of you. I'm at school right now... Not a good day. :/_

 _1:54 p.m. [Unknown number]_  
_Sorry to hear that. :( What's wrong?_

 _1:55 p.m. To: [Unknown number]_  
_Well, new term just started, you know. There's a ton of new assignments. So stressful! :( I feel quite panicky._

No response.   
2:10 p.m. Still no response.  
_"Of course! Why would he even write back?! Why did I have to say that! Now he thinks I'm weird. Cry baby! Typical! I always screw things up!"_ goes through her head as she tries to refocus on the lecture she's having right now.  
_"What things, anyway? I don't even know him. I don't even know why I texted him back."_ She shakes her head and laughs at her own naivety.

 _2:30 p.m. [Unknown number]_  
_I just talked to my friend who were supposed to pick me up last night. He laughed at me too! :D Anyway... Why you feel panicky? I bet you're gonna do just fine! ;)_

 _2:31 p.m. To: [Unknown number]_  
_That's what friends are for... To laugh at you. -_- Why I feel panicky? Because I do... All the time._

_"What?! What did I just... Did I just really text him that?! Just why?! What's wrong with me?!"_

There's that lump in her throat again.  
For a second she's afraid she's gonna throw up.   
Walls are closing in on her.   
She can't breathe.  
Her palms are sweating.

 _2:34 p.m._   _[Unknown number]_  
_Oh..._

She feels like crying.  
Her knees are shaking.  
She closes her eyes and feels the pulse inside her head.  
She feels so small. So weak. So lost.  
Like something's crushing her chest.  
When she opens her eyes again, everything's spinning.

She needs to get away from this.  
She quietly gets up and leaves the room.

 _2:41 p.m. [Unknown number]_  
_Are you okay?_

She heads for the bathroom.  
She leans against the sink and just stands there, watching herself in the mirror.

 _"You are useless!"_ plays in her head again and again and again.

 _2:50 p.m._   _[Unknown number]_  
_I'm sorry if I said anything I shouldn't have. :(_

Tears are coming down her cheeks and she's too weak to stop them.

Some says world is black and white.  
For her it's just grey.  
And blurry. Through her tears.  
_"Why?"_  Another tear drops from her eye.

 _3:04 p.m. To: [Unknown number]_  
_I'm sorry._

Her eyes are still filled with tears as she throws the phone into her bag and leaves the bathroom.

She leaves the school.  
She goes home.


	4. Chapter 4

A week has passed.  
It's a lovely sunny Saturday in New York City and she's sitting at a bench in The Central Park, sipping coffee she's got from Starbucks earlier.   
Sun's been shining from the very first moment she got up from the bed in the morning so she decided to grab her camera and head out to the city for a hunt for some new photos which, hopefully, she would use for some school assignments.  
She's already managed to snap a few good ones and now she's just enjoying sun and coffee in the park, when her phones starts ringing, signalizing a new message.

 _11:24 a.m. [Unknown number]_  
_I'm sorry. I know I've already said that a couple of times to you but I really am. I'm sorry to bother you again. But I'm also sorry I haven't texted you sooner. After what happened last week I thought you probably don't want me to bother you anymore. And I'm sorry but I just can't stop thinking about what happened (even though I don't really know what it was). So if nothing else I just want to make sure you are okay!_

 _11:27 a.m. To: [Unknown number]_  
_I really am okay. I was just freaking out a bit. You know, just a bad day. You don't need to worry about me. ;)_

 _11:28 a.m. [Unknown number]_  
_I do worry about you. You seem like a very nice girl. I want you to be okay!_

 _11:29 a.m. [Unknown number]_  
_Wait! You are a girl, right?_

 _11:30 a.m. To: [Unknown number]_  
_OH MY GOD! I just laughed out loud and people are staring. :D_

 _11:31 a.m. To: [Unknown number]_  
_And yes, I'm a girl. What are you?_

 _11:32 a.m. To: [Unknown number]_  
_Well, that sounded super weird! What I meant was are you a girl or a boy? ^_^_

 _11:33 a.m. [Unknown number]_  
_Boy._

 _11:34 a.m. To: [Unknown number]_  
_Cool. Good to know._

 _11:35 a.m. To: [Unknown number]_  
_Oh God! -_- I'm socially awkward. You've probably already noticed._

 _11:36 a.m. [Unknown number]_  
_You are not! ;) You're really funny. I'm giggling like a little girl. My brother probably thinks I'm some kind of lunatic right now. :D_

 _11:37 a.m. To: [Unknown number]_  
_You're with your brother, huh? :)_

 _11:38 a.m. [Unknown number]_  
_Yep. Just chilling at home. What about you? You doing something interesting?_

 _11:39 a.m. To: [Unknown number]_  
_Under the sun in the park. Chilling, as well. :) The weather is absolutely amazing today._

 _11:40 a.m. [Unknown number]_  
_Have you got a Starbucks?_

 _11:41 a.m. To: [Unknown number]_  
_How do you know? Are you... stalking me?_

 _11:42 a.m. [Unknown number]_  
_Nooooo! :D But there's nothing better than drinking coffee in the park. ;)_

 _11:43 a.m. To: [Unknown number]_  
_Uff. You scared me a bit there! :D But yeah, you're right. What's your favourite?_

 _11:44 a.m. [Unknown number]_  
_Don't really have a favourite. Depends on the mood. You?_

 _11:45 a.m. To: [Unknown number]_  
_Samesies! :P_

 _11:48 a.m. [Unknown number]_  
_By the way... My name's Emmett. ;)_

 _11:50 a.m. To: Emmett_  
_Nice to meet you, Emmett. My name's Annette._

 _11:51 a.m. Emmett_  
_Really nice to meet you, Annie. ;)_


	5. Chapter 5

_11:17 a.m. Emmett_  
_Mondays are the worst! -_-_

 _11:18 a.m. To: Emmett_  
_Tell me about it! I overslept. :/_

 _11:19 a.m. Emmett_  
_Awww. Poor girl. How's school going?_

 _11:20 a.m. To: Emmett_  
_Good. So far..._

 _11:21 a.m. Emmett_  
_What are you studying anyway?_

 _11:22 a.m. To: Emmett_  
_Photography._

 _11:23 a.m. Emmett_  
_Cool! What school?_

 _11:24 a.m. To: Emmett_  
_Film Academy._

 _11:24 a.m. To: Emmett_  
_What about you?_

 _11:25 a.m. Emmett_  
_Julliard._

 _11:26 a.m. To: Emmett_  
_Oh, wow. I guess... You must be really good then. ;)_

_..._

_11:32 a.m. To: Emmett_  
_Oh my god please don't be mad at me I didn't mean to be rude didn't mean to offend you please don't be mad please I'm sorry_

 _11:40 a.m. To: Emmett_  
_Oh my god I really don't know why I said that please I'm so stupid don't be mad I'm sorry_

 _11:42 a.m. To: Emmett_  
_I really meant it like you must be really good I mean you are good I bet you are amazing and super talented_

 _11:45 a.m. To: Emmett_  
_Please don't be mad at me please_

 _11:47 a.m. To: Emmett_  
_I'm sorry_

_..._

_12:45 a.m. Emmett_  
_Annie darling I'm not mad. Don't you worry please. :) I just had a singing lesson so I couldn't get to the phone. Everything is fine. Please, don't freak out. I'm not mad at all. ;)_

 _12:46 a.m. Emmett_  
_And thank you for thinking I'm good. :)_

 _12:50 a.m. Emmett_  
_Annie, sweetheart, talk to me. Is everything alright? I didn't mean to scare you._

 _12:52 a.m. Emmett_  
_Please tell me you're okay_

 _12:57 a.m. To: Emmett_  
_I'm okay._

 _12:58 a.m. Emmett_  
_What happened?_

 _1:02 p.m. Emmett_  
_Don't worry. You can tell me. ;)_

 _1:05 p.m. To: Emmett_  
_Panic attack_

 _1:05 p.m. To: Emmett_  
_Yeah, I get those._

 _1:06 p.m. To: Emmett_  
_Though this one wasn't that bad, it's still scary._

 _1:07 p.m. Emmett_  
_Annie, I'm so sorry. I should have told you I won't be able to text you back for a bit. I really didn't mean to scare you like that. :(_

 _1:08 p.m. To: Emmett_  
_Don't be sorry, Em. It definitely wasn't your fault. ;) It's nobody's fault, really. My brain just works in weird ways. :/_

 _1:10 p.m. Emmett_  
_Does it mean that you had a panic attack when we first talked a week ago?_

 _1:11 p.m. To: Emmett_  
_Yes._

 _1:11 p.m. To: Emmett_  
_That was a bad one._

 _1:12 p.m. To: Emmett_  
_Those ones when I can't breathe or do anything, really, are the worst ones. :(_

 _1:13 p.m. Emmett_  
_Okay, I'm sending you the BIGGEST hug right now!_

 _1:14 p.m. To: Emmett_  
_You're the sweetest!_

 _1:15 p.m. Emmett_  
_You are!_

 _1:15 p.m. Emmett_  
_I gotta go now. We'll talk later, okay?_

 _1:16 p.m. To: Emmett_  
_Okay ;)_

_..._

_4:34 p.m. Emmett_  
_Home at last! :)_

 _4:35 p.m. To: Emmett_  
_You lucky bastard! :P_

 _4:36 p.m. Emmett_  
_Still at school?_

 _4:37 p.m. To: Emmett_  
_Yep :/_

 _4:38 p.m. Emmett_  
_So can we talk? Or should I wait till you get home as well?_

 _4:39 p.m. To: Emmett_  
_We can talk. I'm actually afraid I'd fall asleep otherwise. Theoretical lessons are not that much fun._

 _4:40 p.m. Emmett_  
_Totally agree!_

 _4:40 p.m. Emmett_  
_We can get to know each other a little bit better, what do you think?_

 _4:41 p.m. To: Emmett_  
_Absolutely!_

 _4:42 p.m. Emmett_  
_Shoot questions, then! ;)_

 _4:43 p.m. To: Emmett_  
_Oh, I'm gonna start, I see. Okay. Let me think..._

 _4:44 p.m. To: Emmett_  
_So, I've already knew you have a brother... So is he your only sibling?_

 _4:44 p.m. Emmett_  
_Nope. I'm the middle one from three. My brother James is the oldest, then it's me, and then there's my younger sister, Slaney._

 _4:44 p.m. Emmett_  
_Do you have any siblings?_

 _4:45 p.m. To: Emmett_  
_Yes. I have one younger brother Danny._

 _4:47 p.m. Emmett_  
_Do you still live with your family?_

 _4:48 p.m. To: Emmett_  
_I don't. I moved to New York for Uni. I actually come from just outside Philly and that's also where my family lives._

 _4:50 p.m. Emmett_  
_That's so cool! I love Philadelphia._

 _4:51 p.m. To: Emmett_  
_Me too! :) But I also really loves living in New York_

 _4:51 p.m. To: Emmett_  
_Were you born in NY?_

 _4:52 p.m. Emmett_  
_Yep. Born and raised in Queens. Though both of my parents were born in Ireland_

 _4:53 p.m. To: Emmett_  
_Oh, no way! I would LOVE to visit Ireland one day!_

 _4:53 p.m. To: Emmett_  
_I suppose you've been there, right?_

 _4:54 p.m. Emmett_  
_Yes, a couple of times, actually._

 _4:55 p.m. To: Emmett_  
_Oh, you're so lucky! How was it?_

 _4:56 p.m. Emmett_  
_Ireland is really beautiful! I love it there. Even though I was born here, I consider Ireland the place where I come from, because of my parents._

 _4:58 p.m. To: Emmett_  
_That's so cool! I finally know somebody who's Irish ;)_

 _4:59 p.m. Emmett_  
_;)_

 _5:02 p.m. To: Emmett_  
_Oh my god! As we talked about Ireland, I just thought of a really funny song and actually burst out laughing... Luckily, professor just tried to make a "joke" and as I was actually the only one who laughed I think I'm his favourite student now! I kid you not, that just happened! :D_

 _5:03 p.m. Emmett_  
_Oh my god! :D What song?_

 _5:04 p.m. To: Emmett_  
_Oh, you'd probably think it's stupid. I mean, it is. :D But it just gets me every time!_

 _5:05 p.m. Emmett_  
_Oh, come on! Tell me!_

 _5:07 p.m. To: Emmett_  
_Down to the Old Pub Instead by Stephen Lynch. But I warned you! It is quite silly :D_

 _5:08 p.m. Emmett_  
_Okay, I'm gonna check it out. Give me a sec_

 _5:12 p.m. Emmett_  
_OH MY GOD!!!_

 _5:12 p.m. Emmett_  
_Who's this guy and how come I've never heard of him before?! So funny!_

 _5:13 p.m. To: Emmett_  
_I know, right?! I love him! He's the best medicine for bad mood! :D Try his Country Love Song ;)_

 _5:14 p.m. Emmett_  
_Just listening to that one right now. He's killing me!_

 _5:14 p.m. Emmett_  
_Thank you for this one. I know what I'm gonna be doing for the rest of the day. :D_

 _5:15 p.m. To: Emmett_  
_You're very welcome! :P_

 _5:15 p.m. To: Emmett_  
_Aaaaand I'm finally on my way home! ;)_

 _5:16 p.m. Emmett_  
_Congrats on that! You survived Monday. ;)_

 _5:17 p.m. To: Emmett_  
_What an accomplishment! :D_

 _5:18 p.m. Emmett_  
_Definitely!_

 _5:19 p.m. To: Emmett_  
_Now four days to go! :D_

 _5:20 p.m. Emmett_  
_You can do it! I believe in you! ;)_

 _5:21 p.m. To: Emmett_  
_Thanks :)_

 _5:23 p.m. Emmett_  
_I gotta go help my brother with something. I'll text you later. ;)_

 _5:24 p.m. To: Emmett_  
_Sure thing ;)_

...


	6. Chapter 6

_10:16 a.m. Emmett_  
_Morning, Annie. Sorry I didn't text you last night. Helping my brother took me longer than I expected and I was worried you might be asleep already and didn't wanna wake you up._

 _10:17 a.m. To: Emmett_  
_Morning, Em. It's absolutely alright. ;) I went to bed quite late as I was trying to work out some of my school assignments._

 _10:17 a.m. To: Emmett_  
_How did you sleep?_

 _10:18 a.m. Emmett_  
_I slept alright. Though I sure could use a few more hours of sleep. :D_

 _10:19 a.m. To: Emmett_  
_Well, you and me both. :D_

 _10:21 a.m. Emmett_  
_So, you already at school?_

 _10:22 a.m. To: Emmett_  
_Nope. Today I'm starting a bit later. Still at home ;) You?_

 _10:23 a.m. Emmett_  
_Already in school :(_

 _10:24 a.m. To: Emmett_  
_Awww, poor you! :/_

 _10:27 a.m. Emmett_  
_How many years you have till you finish school anyway?_

 _10:28 a.m. To: Emmett_  
_Two more years. You?_

 _10:29 a.m. Emmett_  
_I'm getting my Masters Degree at the end of this year._

 _10:31 a.m. To: Emmett_  
_Oh, you lucky fella!_

 _10:31 a.m. To: Emmett_  
_What then? You have a plan?_

 _10:32 a.m. Emmett_  
_Not really. Probably gonna end up in a theatre or opera of some kind. :D_

 _10:33 a.m. To: Emmett_  
_That's so cool!_

 _10:35 a.m. Emmett_  
_What about you? You have any idea what you're gonna be doing after you finish school?_

 _10:38 a.m. To: Emmett_  
_To be honest... I have enough on my plate right now with just focusing purely on surviving each and every day without breaking down... Which is still damn hard! So... No idea what's gonna come after school._

 _10:40 a.m. Emmett_  
_Annie, I'm sorry you have to be dealing with that. :( I was actually reading some stuff last night, on the Internet, you know, about anxiety and panic attacks and stuff like that... And it's so scary! Like... I admire you so much for going through that!_

 _10:45 a.m. To: Emmett_  
_Oh, Em... There's nothing to admire... I'm just, like... Not good at dealing with it... At all! :( Honestly... I'm struggling_

 _10:47 a.m. Emmett_  
_Have you ever tried seeking any help? Like professional... Maybe a doctor who could give you any advice or something?_

 _10:49 a.m. To: Emmett_  
_I did, actually. Right after I moved to New York. My anxiety got so much worse. Everything was new, different, I missed my family, my home, and I was under so much pressure with the start of the Uni, so... Yeah, I was kinda desperate. So I went to see a psychologist... Long story short. His first reaction was to put me on some kind of pills, I don't even know what it was. I mean... Even though I was desperate, this was something I've never wanted to do. So I told him no and never visited him again. And I gave up on the whole thing with professional help. :(_

 _10:52 a.m. Emmett_  
_Oh, I'm sorry about that. :( You know, there was something I read last night that the anxiety can be triggered by some traumatic event... Did something happen to you?_

 _10:53 a.m. Emmett_  
_By the way, you can stop me if you don't wanna talk about it, I'll understand. ;)_

 _10:54 a.m. To: Emmett_  
_It's okay, I don't mind talking about it. ;) though nobody's ever wanted to talk about it with me._

 _10:55 a.m. Emmett_  
_Well, I care about you. And I genuinely wanna help you._

 _10:56 a.m. To: Emmett_  
_You have no idea how much it means to me! Anyway... traumatic event... There was something that happened when I was just a baby. I mean, I don't remember it happening but my parents told me, even though they have no idea what affect it had on me... Apparently I fell into the river and as I still didn't know how to swim, obviously, I just went down, drowning. I think my dad pulled me out immediately. It didn't affect me physically in any way... It just did something to my brain apparently. To be honest, when I have like a really bad panic attack, I kinda feel like drowning._

 _11:02 a.m. Emmett_  
_That must be so scary, I can't even imagine! :(_

 _11:02 a.m. Emmett_  
_Wait! Your parents don't know about you anxiety?_

 _11:05 a.m. To: Emmett_  
_Nobody from my family knows. I mean, I always wanted my parents to be proud of me, you know. How can I tell them I'm that damaged?!_

 _11:06 a.m. Emmett_  
_Annie, you're not damaged! It's not your fault._

 _11:07 a.m. To: Emmett_  
_I know. But I just... Maybe I'll them when I get it under control just a little bit. But right now I'm still too ashamed to tell anyone._

 _11:09 a.m. Emmett_  
_You told me_

 _11:12 a.m. To: Emmett_  
_Yes. I told you... In a text message. I didn't see you. I didn't see the look on your face... Disappointment, judgment, repulsion, I've seen it all. When I'm having a panic attack somewhere in public, people stare. And I see all of that in their eyes._

 _11:13 a.m. Emmett_  
_I'd never give you such a look! I wouldn't judge you. I admire you so much! I admire the way you cope with everything! You're so brave!_

 _11:15 a.m. To: Emmett_  
_I don't really cope. I'm just somehow surviving._

 _11:16 a.m. Emmett_  
_We'll get you through it. We'll make you better, I promise._

 _11:15 a.m. Emmett_  
_You and me. Against the world and all the demons._

 _11:25 a.m. To: Emmett_  
_I should really be going to school now... But I'm just... Ball of tears!_

 _11:25 a.m. To: Emmett_  
_Like, good tears!_

 _11:26 a.m. Emmett_  
_I'm sorry I made you cry._

 _11:27 a.m. To: Emmett_  
_No, don't be! I mean... Thank you so much._..  _For caring. :)_

 _11:28 a.m. Emmett_  
_You are very welcome, Annie!_

 _11:28 a.m. Emmett_  
_Now, dry your tears and off you go! Be brave and remember... I'm here if you need me ;)_


End file.
